guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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