Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
