last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is the high leading the old right now
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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