we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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