you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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