just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
