New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
