Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
