Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
