I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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