i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
