I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize