Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize