I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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