Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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