i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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