That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
