Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
