remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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