Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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