Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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