what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
