Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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