Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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