You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
thus making me awesome and them whores
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
