we're blogging at a bar
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
