oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
