The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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