Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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