She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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