Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
