this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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