Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
