He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
