honey bunches of taint.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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