let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
