its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize