I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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