it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
