Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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