Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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