i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bring me that man meat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
