she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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