Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
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