it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
