And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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