giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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