you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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