i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
