She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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