forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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