You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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