If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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