I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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