we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
