I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
