You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i out mim tonsoeep
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