is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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