I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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