Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Drake has all the answers
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
